Michelle Dugger and Pez

My sense of humor has finally paid off! One of the local radio stations was giving away movie tickets to the best celebrity new years resolution. I won. My answer, Michelle Dugger should give her uterus a rest for the year and not give birth for an entire year. The DJ was shocked by my bluntness. He said, "You don't pull any punches." He didn't know I did. What I didn't mention on the radio is why would anyone want to become a human pez dispenser? That's my new sick toy, a Michelle Dugger pez dispenser that opens in the middle (just like her c-section incision) and spurts out pink and blue candies. Just think, all of us sinners can woof down little pink and blue Duggers. It will be important to make sure that same "touched" blue-eyed glow that gleams from her eyes. You know the look she has, it makes you wonder if she's been hypnotized like in those weird Scooby Doo episodes with the freaky sound effects and swirly eyes. I will admit I watch the show 17 and counting. It's like crack. It fulfills my need to point and laugh. I'm waiting for the episode where her uterus falls out. I know it can happen because it happened to one of my step-sisters. It taught her to "new baby" everyone (for those who don't know new babying is the practice of getting knocked up after hearing the news of the pregnancy of another family member so you always have the "new baby"). My favorite episode so far, the poor woman pops out 17 kids 18 on the way (picture the pez dispenser shooting them out or better yet the scene in Gremlins when they get him wet) and her husband lectures her about wanting a NEW diaper bag. "Honey remember", he says, "buy used and save the rest" and there she is "OK" with her Scooby Doo swirly eyes. Maybe if Velma and Shaggy can snap her out of it she will realize he should be buying a good hooker now and then or a diaphragm, or at least let Daphne teach her how to swallow.